So, I've had a change of heart, NO, NOT about the adoption, but about the whole waiting thing. My whole life I have tried to have the attitude that we need to enjoy life. I have never liked the feeling of being in limbo while waiting for things to happen, so I have tried to have the attitude that I need to enjoy and experience today, as today is only here once. I realized something this week, the past few months I have somehow lost that attitude. It got all mixed up in this anxiety producing wait. The wait for match. The wait for referral, and now the wait for a travel date. But I lost part of me somehow in all of this. And as I lost myself in this "rush" to the end, I forgot to enjoy the journey. I forgot to enjoy today. The past couple of weeks myself and others in my travel group have been asked to redo and update several of our documents related to the adoption. I know that each new piece of paper they ask for, pushes our travel date into the future. Each day I knew I was becoming more and more stressed over it. I fretted over it, I fretted over the whole OHIP issue and I fretted over the Citizenship issue, I fretted that Macy is getting a day older for each day I do not get to hold her. But................. it's out of my hands, all I can do is update and resend everything they ask for......................
This morning I woke up with a different perspective. I need to get back to enjoying the journey. Enjoy today. Yesterday I had a wonderful day with my sister Kathy, we went for lunch, shopped a little, chatted lots and travelled to Mississauga to spend some time with a very nice couple who will also be travelling to Vietnam to receive their daughter. A great day.
The wait is still there. Do I want the wait to be over? Of course! Do I want Macy here now? Of Course! But, in the mean time life goes on, work continues, bills get paid, and Yes I do expect CB to ask us to update/renew something else.
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5 comments:
I love this post.
Lea
xo
And of all the places I would choose to have Macy waiting for you HD is it. She is well loved, she is held often, she is fed when she is hungry and changed when she is wet, her cries are answered.
It sounds like you have the right attitude today. Great post! I hope you're there to remind me in my wait and turmoil.
She is being cared for and will be loved like crazy once she's in your arms...
As this is my first visit to your blog you can imagine I am thrilled for you that you have such a beautiful baby girl!!!! OH my gosh, she is gorgeous!!!!
Congratulations. I think I'll have to start following your journey!
Congratulations again. I hope you hear something soon.
Natalie
the wait is so hard but this attitude will take you far! Glad you're feeling better.
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